Time management ideas, concepts, inspiration, research and how to make effective use of one’s time!

, ,

Finding happiness through your top 10 governing values

“Your mind’s job is to keep you alive and help you survive, it’s your job to be happy!” – Paraphrased from Tony Robbins

My parents always tried to tell me that I should ‘follow my heart’ and do something that I wanted to do with my life, but I actually never had the urge to do anything. I don’t come from a society where people are educated as to how to think in life, or what path we should follow based on our core purpose, or even how to find out what our core purpose is.
Instead I grew up being told that I needed to get good marks in school so that I could get entry to a university, so I could get a degree, so I could get a job.
This led me to the belief that happiness ensues after getting a good job, a stable life, a secure income, but it’s certainly not something important or that we need to aspire to. After all, what good is the job, secure income or degree if I’m not happy or unfulfilled? Surely happiness is the end game?

“Instead I grew up being told that I needed to get good marks in school so that I could get entry to a university, so I could get a degree, so I could get a job.”

After turning thirty I’m finally chasing these answers and trying to work out why I’m either not happy or unfulfilled. I have so much opportunity in this life, I have so much to be grateful for, but I feel hollow in certain areas of my life.

I’m starting to change my belief of needing the dream job and instead seeing happiness and fulfilment as the key players here, what ensues from there is further study or a job, or even creation of a job based on my interests.
While I studied hard at school I feel my education was filled with so much wasted time.. Why is it that simple lessons such as goal setting or facing fears aren’t recognised as more useful than learning to play recorder or that science experiment I had to make up that took six months of class time in year 10 and taught me that certain rocks hold more heat than others?

At the end of the day happiness and fulfilment are extremely important emotions to feel in order for a human being to move forward. It opens the doors and drives us to achievement or keeps us motivated on our path. I comes from the right mindset and the feeling that you’re doing something with your time that aligns with your core purpose.
The only problem now is figuring out what your core purpose is. What is is that we want to achieve in life, is it something we want to share with others, is it even something to achieve or simply something to give?

I’m working on a way to get this figured out. Recognising the issue is only the first step, now I have to figure out how to go to the very root of the cause and learn what it is that drives me. That’s where the following list comes in..

My list of governing values (or fulfilment factors)

I’ve begun by ordering from 1 – 10 what I feel are the most important aspects of my life based on a list (taken from a book titled ‘The 10 Natural laws of successful time and life management‘, which I think would be better titled ‘The How-to fulfilment guide’).
Please feel free to take a look at the list and work out which you believe are the most important ‘governing values’ or fulfilment factors in your life (even feel free to add your own values). Only you are going to live your life and create your own happiness and fulfilment, so it’s important that you’re honest with yourself here, the more honesty, the more you go outside your comfort zone, the bigger the results when finding what is actually more important to you in life.

  • Religion/Spirituality
  • Leadership
  • Inner Peace
  • Financial Security
  • Integrity and Honesty
  • Capability
  • Intelligence
  • Quality of Life
  • Friendship
  • Education and Learning
  • Imagination/Creativity
  • Helping Others
  • Being Responsible
  • Self-Control
  • Independence
  • Happiness
  • Self-Respect
  • Beauty
  • Equality
  • Children and Family
  • Ambition
  • Pleasure
  • Understanding
  • Occupational Satisfaction
  • Courage
  • Forgiveness
  • Sense of Accomplishment
  • Generosity
  • Spouse
  • Personal Health & Fitness

Upon completion of this list being as honest as possible to yourself, it’s time to ask yourself how many of these values you put in that exact order in your daily life?
An example of this for me is spouse‘. I thought she would have been my top priority, however my top priority is happiness and she’s my (close) second priority. If she is my number two, then why in some cases (like last weekend) would I say yes to working a 13 hour day doing something I don’t enjoy, instead of helping my girlfriend set up the house for her birthday party, at a stage where she felt she really needed me?
I would much prefer to be with her than at work, but I was satisfying my needs for certainty and safety through financial security.

“Upon completion of this list being as honest as possible to yourself, it’s time to ask yourself how many of these values you put in that exact order in your daily life?”

At the very least it helps me to understand myself and realise why I was feeling so low that night, because I wasn’t making decisions based on my core values.

It becomes apparent that much of the world go through their lives in this way, finally doing something they value highly only in retirement and living the majority of their lives ‘incorrectly’ according to their governing values.
After doing this list I even realise that I put my financial security before my family, who I believe I value much more.

Ordering these values has helped me realise that I am definitely not living a life that is going to make me happy or fulfilled and a mind shift is in order. I don’t have the answers yet, but I thought sharing this list might help others out there who are struggling with happiness just like me.
If this helped you or you know of anything that could improve the list, please add it in the comments :)